The Work Within

A Memoir by Brian Schwartz

A Memoir of Effort and Limits

A short, honest memoir about losing work, becoming a father, losing a father, and finding direction through service — without ever fully arriving.

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Available now on Amazon · Audiobook coming soon

The Premise

“This memoir is not a blueprint or a victory lap. It is an honest accounting of how effort became my language, how service reshaped my attention, and how learning to slow down became its own form of resilience.”

In the summer of 2020, Brian Schwartz was laid off while his wife was eight months pregnant and his father was dying of brain cancer. Gyms were closed. The world was locked down. He needed something to do with his hands.

He started mowing lawns — first his own, then for seniors and veterans who couldn’t manage theirs. What began as a way to cope quietly became a national nonprofit, a segment on The Drew Barrymore Show, and a responsibility he wasn’t sure he could carry.

This is not the story of someone who figured it out. It’s the story of someone who kept going.

What This Book Holds

Home office turned playroom — the room where the layoff call happened

Effort Without Certainty

What happens when the systems you built your life around — work, momentum, productivity — disappear without warning.

Hospital selfie during panic attack — the moment the body said what the mind wouldn't

Grief Without Pause

A father dying. A son arriving. A world shutting down. And the panic attack that made the body say what the mind wouldn’t.

Brian mowing an overgrown yard for a homeowner in need

Service as Direction

How mowing a stranger’s lawn became the thing that kept a man upright — and the weight that came with it once people started watching.

From Chapter 2

I thought I was having a heart attack.
It was a panic attack.

Jennifer drove me to the hospital. Income was going to zero. A baby was arriving in weeks. My father was fighting stage four brain cancer.

I didn’t see it as a warning. I saw it as another thing to get through.

But something had cracked. Not in a dramatic way. In a quiet way. The kind where you realize the systems you’ve relied on aren’t guaranteed. And when they disappear, you’re left alone with yourself.

Who This Book Is For

This is not a self-help book.

✕ There are no five steps. No morning routines. No transformation arc where the protagonist emerges whole on the other side.

— It’s for anyone who has kept moving when they didn’t know why. For the person who shows up even when nothing feels certain. Who measures their worth by what they produce — and wonders what’s left when they stop.

— It’s for anyone who has carried weight quietly — through layoffs, through loss, through the pressure of responsibility — and wondered when it was okay to set some of it down.

— It’s for the partner who noticed before you did. The quiet check-in. The look. The pause before asking a question.

This book lives in the space between crisis and recovery.
It does not arrive. It continues.

Inside the Book

01	Effort Was My First Language A childhood in Wayne, NJ. Shoveling snow. Knocking on doors. The quiet endurance that set everything in motion.
02	When Work Disappeared Three layoffs. A pandemic. A baby on the way. What happens when identity and income vanish at the same time.
03	Redirecting the Energy Mowing his own lawn became a reset. Mowing someone else’s became a signal.
04	Building Something Real From a Google Sheet to a national nonprofit. Volunteers in Texas. Handwritten notes. The work that traveled.
05	Visibility and Weight The Drew Barrymore Show. Growing faster than one person could hold. The anxiety that scale introduced.
06	Grief Without Pause Losing his father. Becoming one. Showing up to lawns with swollen eyes behind sunglasses.
07	Learning to Let Go The bedside moment. The message he didn’t send. The cost of carrying it alone.
08	Personal Growth Through Service Standing in a stranger’s yard long after the mower was off. The quiet shift from proving to being present.
09	Looking to the Future Voicemails at midnight. The question of sustainability. Attention that doesn’t expand capacity.
10	The Work Within A closed laptop. A quiet kitchen. The room stays still.

About the Author

Brian Schwartz

Brian is the founder of I Want To Mow Your Lawn Inc., a national nonprofit connecting volunteers with seniors and veterans who need help maintaining their homes.

What started as a way to cope during the pandemic — mowing lawns while unemployed, grieving, and becoming a father — grew into something he didn’t plan for and couldn’t walk away from.

He lives in New Jersey with his wife Jenny and their two kids, Dylan and Alana. He still mows lawns. He’s still figuring it out.

“Late one night, I close the laptop and sit at the kitchen table. The screen goes dark. I don’t reopen anything. I sit there for a minute, hands on the table, and let the room stay still.”